I had never thought before about the healing power of a letter but I am learning that letters can indeed bring healing. Torn relationships can burden a person for years, even decades. A friend recently shared with me a letter she had written to someone who, years ago, had wounded her deeply. I was impressed by her honesty, an honesty unstained by vindictiveness, and assured her of the letter's appropriateness. She confessed to me how much better she felt after writing the letter and only wished she had written it years ago.
This causes me to wonder who I need to write a healing letter to. None of us gets through life entirely unscathed and we all have some scuff on a relationship or a ding in a friendship. Each of us has a former attachment or two that, though once treasured, has lost its fragrance because of some ill word spoken, some misunderstanding, or some inexplicable cooling of warmth. What about that childhood friend that has been missed since that unfortunate episode on the playground or that best friend and secret keeper who drifted away during summer break or after college? Maybe it's time to write a letter saying "I'm sorry," or simply, "I miss you." To whom shall I write and what shall I say? I will have to give some thought to this question. If nothing else comes of such a letter, it will be good to shine light on the shadow of regret.
8 Comments
Beautifully written! If we spent a little more time putting our energy into healing as opposed to holding grudges, we would all be better off. The anticipation of doing it is far worse than the actual doing of it. Does that make sense?
Reply
10/12/2010 02:20:00 am
Thanks for the link, that's a great post. Maybe these letters would be easier to write if we wrote them with the understanding that they don't HAVE to be mailed. I have a feeling that by the time the ink is dry we'll WANT to mail most of them.
Reply
10/12/2010 11:55:48 pm
I wrote three of these this year. One which I never sent but burnt up. One which I sent and got a lovely phone call from the person, closing the circle fully on forgiveness asked for and received. And a last sent but never heard back from, but that's ok for I did my part.
Reply
10/13/2010 08:55:48 am
Three letters with three different results and all three were undoubtedly beneficial :o)
Reply
10/21/2010 07:30:22 pm
Very inspiring post!
Reply
10/22/2010 01:40:09 am
Thanks for stopping by, Sikko. I visited your blog. It looks inviting but I couldn't make out a word of it. I wish I could though! It's got to be nice being bilingual. Enjoy your letter writing adventure!
Reply
Susie
9/22/2011 06:47:02 am
I just dropped off a letter for my ex boss. I wrote her a one page letter saying things I needed to say but not sounding angry or vindictive. I actually even spoke about how I cared for her. It was a complex situation and things ended badly between us three months ago. The sad thing is I really cared for her and was hurt badly by how I was treated. I thought of mailing it but thought she would toss it. I tucked the letter under her windshield wipers on her car so she will notice it for sure. The sad thing is I don't think she will reply but I wanted to say my piece. It hurts when someone just goes on and forgets about you. That is what hurts the most, I think.
Reply
9/22/2011 07:36:39 am
Thanks for sharing your story, Susie. Even if she doesn't reply, your letter can help you find closure. Grief over broken relationships is the risk we run any time we genuinely care about someone. When things like this happen it's tempting to protect ourselves from future harm by trying not to care too much again. I hope she'll respond to your letter and do her part to repair your broken relationship; but if not, I hope you'll find closure and continue running the risk of caring because despite the grief it can cause, caring increases your beauty as a person.
Reply
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. Here is the element's original content
|
Letter Matters
|